Following on from why we cant avoid our emotions, in this article I would like to talk about how to clear our negative emotions.
Emotions remain with us until we are ready to acknowledge and feel them, it really is no more complicated than that. To acknowledge an emotion is to recognise that you have this emotion within you. And when we allow ourselves to feel the emotion, this then clears it.
Emotion after all is Energy in Motion. When an emotion is held within the body, it is like we have created a dam wall within us. Dams hold water and allow a little bit of it to flow so that the dam wall does not collapse. So too is holding an emotion, we have dammed up this energy in our body, where at times a bit of emotion may be released, but the bulk of the emotion is still held behind the wall, sometimes putting enormous amounts of pressure on to this wall. It is this pressure from holding back the emotion that is uncomfortable.
Infact it takes more energy to hold the emotion than it does to feel and allow it to flow and pass away.
So when we feel an emotion it is as if we have opened the gates on the dam wall and allowed the energy to be in motion again. The relief from this can be instantaneous and amazing, especially when we didn’t know we were holding onto this emotion.
Trying to understand why we had this emotion or where it came from may be helpful but in order to actually release the emotion it must be felt in the body, not rationalised in the mind. So I would encourage you to allow yourself to feel it in the body and not be too concerned with analysing your emotion. One danger in over thinking about the emotion is that we become caught in our heads, we become disconnected from our body and thus we missed the opportunity to feel and clear the emotion. Another risk in over analysing our feelings is that we create a story about why we have this feeling which may in reality have no truth in it. What can happen is that you may clear the emotion but the false story you created to help yourself with this emotion has created new negative emotions that now also needs to cleared. I find it is helpful to have a trusting attitude towards life, knowing that life will bring you the wisdom about these emotions when needed, and knowing there are times when your understanding is not needed.
“Feeling is dealing. Dealing is healing.”
In clearing an emotion, when you start to feel the emotion rising in your body, it is really important to make sure you stay with the feeling, try and feel everything that is happening. That is, when you feel the emotion arising, allow yourself the full experience instead of cutting it off short, such as by distracting yourself with something like suddenly turning on the computer. In this way you give yourself the best opportunity to clear it all at once.
What if you know you have an emotion but can not really feel it? Well firstly don’t worry as this is common. One suggestion would be to set your intentions or state this in your prayers that you want to feel this emotion. Another suggestion is to write down all you know about what it is you feel about the situations and people in your life. Having someone help you such as an attentive friend or healer/counsellor, to feel safe with your emotions and guide you into them can be very powerful indeed. Very often the mere presence of another person supports us to safely open up and connect with our true emotions.
However rest assured it is not the nature of emotions to remain buried within us, so at some point you will be surely presented with another opportunity to feel this emotion and clear yourself of this negativity, giving yourself greater freedom to shine as your true self.
Published: December 2013